Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.

Every day there seems to be a different reason why I didn’t blog earlier, longer, better… The podcast appeared yesterday. A bare 25 minutes of recording before Tim’s phone battery died but the effort that went into editing was disproportionate to the result. I mentioned last week that my speakers had packed in and I’d had to rig up my PC to an even older sound system. Turns out, it changed my workflow, meaning I couldn’t grab all the sound samples I needed via the usual ‘Stereo Mix’ channel on my PC. I spent two hours hunting for a cable, which I didn’t find, only to then discover that Audacity has a loopback function, meaning it will record from whatever’s playing. Saved the day but I wish I knew about it two hours earlier, before I turned the house upside down looking for the cable.

In the end, I finished the editing close to 1am. On a Sunday. On a Bank Holiday weekend. I fell asleep reading Don Winslow.

I’m also not sure about my contribution to the podcast. Not just that I hate the sound of my own voice but I had so much to say, very little time in which to say it. I end up sounding like a spluttering mess. Feels like what I did say lacked nuance, lacked the interesting stuff I’ve been thinking about. But that, I guess, is the difference between talking and thinking, speaking and writing. Because I know I haven’t much time, my brain leaps between things I need to say in a state of mild panic. The pressure to say something quickly gets in the way of my saying what I want. Every line feels like it deserves a long annotation where I fill in the details… Maybe this is more of the problem with out soundbite culture. I prefer the longer podcasts since those are the podcasts I enjoy the most. Anything less than half an hour doesn’t feel like it’s worth the effort of listening.

Today I intended to write cartoons. Write, that is, not draw. Drawing is a pleasure. Writing is hard work. I’ve come up with four, one of which is decent. Some days, I can rattle off ideas. Lately, however, good ideas are hard to find. It’s probably has to do with hitting the coalface every day. You need some time to pass, allow the rock to wear away on its own, revealing new pockets of ideas. I also use books of cartoons to spark ideas. Not so much jokes but looking at scenarios and imagining my own punchlines. Sometimes it works. Most of the time I end up with another guy standing before boss’s desk cartoon which can occasionally be good (if I think of a really weird angle) but most of the time they’re far too generic.

Yes, today’s blogpost is rambling and a bit on the glum side. I’ve not looked at visitor statistics in a few days, but I know they’re not looking good. I stuck a mild ad into the podcast, advertising my cartoon books. I’d be surprised if a single person buys one. In fact, I just checked. Podcast approaching 900 listens, 0 books sold! Sheesh…

Not that I expected much. I know the conversation rate for my other books. Probably over 100,000 listens and book sales are probably haven’t pushed 20. It’s always a depressing reminder that I’m not the reason people listen to the podcasts… I despair.

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Why Dunciad.com?

It’s a cool domain name and it was available. Yes, I know. Available. Crazy, isn’t it?


Yes. It also helps that it’s also my favourite satire written by Alexander Pope, one of the most metrically pure English poets who also knew his way around a crude insult or two. If you’ve not read it, you should give it a try.

So this is satire, right?

Can’t deny it. There will be some. But it’s also an experiment in writing and drawing, giving work away for free in order to see how many people are willing to support a writer doing his thing. It’s the weird stuff that I wouldn’t get published elsewhere in this word of diminishing demands and cookie-cutter tastes.