My mother is not Hunter S. Thompson.

If you’d thought that, you would be labouring under a misapprehension or you’d be simply confusing her with my sister.

My sister has been struggling with her inflammatory condition for so many years that she can take drugs like a pro. She’s like the late master of Gonzo whose daily drug intake was prestigious. Recently talking about my mum’s nausea medicine, my sister looked at them, sniffed, and said “Oh, I was on them. Barely had any effect… Really really mild.”

Except, like I said, my mother isn’t no Hunter S. Speedfreak, which explains why yesterday went so badly.

She’d needed another eye test. She had cataracts done a couple of years ago and now it appears that she suffers from a common complaint, which is fogging of the lenses. They need zapping with a laser and it probably should have been done months ago except for the ‘vid. It’s now obvious that the extent of this fogging hadn’t been properly noted during the home test she had a few weeks ago. She’s been complaining of bleary vision so we concluded that we’d have to bite the bullet, break self-isolation, and get her to her usual optician. This coincided nicely with a week when I had access to a car…

Anyway, yesterday was that day but her ongoing neck issue (each problem is relatively minor but coming together make everything hard) made me worried that she might not be able to handle the journey given her nausea. So, despite the fact I’ve been trying to get her off them due to their sedative effect, I gave her one more tablet thinking it would just get her over the visit…

Which it did.

Except, it also knocked her out. She was fine on the trip there. Wide awake and chatty. Somewhere between me leaving her in the optician’s chair and going back for her, the drug had kicked in and she was in zombie mode. Very very very very sleepy…

Now that sedative plus her hearing problem (hearing aids incoming in two weeks… yes, it’s everything at the moment), meant that the optician thought he was dealing with… Well, I hate to think what he thought. The upshot: he couldn’t refer her for the laser zap because she was so bloody zonked out. He asked me if it was normal and I tried to explain about the drug but I don’t think he believed me.

So, I now need to get another medical opinion to prove that it was the drug and not her usual state.

And this is the bit where I realise I was an idiot. The tablet has a line on it. Yes, I know what’s for. It just never occurred to me that I could split such a tiny tablet and give her half a dose.

Anyway, today I’m going to see if I can do some work. I need to desperately earn some money given how bad the past few weeks have been with medical expenses. My mum’s nausea seems to be controllable so long as she keeps having a lie down so it can settle. I was about to type that she’s back to being bright and perky (but still a bit mutton and jeff) but now she needs a tablet — given her half to see if it works. I’m praying that it will.

2 thoughts on “Eyes”

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Why Dunciad.com?

It’s a cool domain name and it was available. Yes, I know. Available. Crazy, isn’t it?

Really?

Yes. It also helps that it’s also my favourite satire written by Alexander Pope, one of the most metrically pure English poets who also knew his way around a crude insult or two. If you’ve not read it, you should give it a try.

So this is satire, right?

Can’t deny it. There will be some. But it’s also an experiment in writing and drawing, giving work away for free in order to see how many people are willing to support a writer doing his thing. It’s the weird stuff that I wouldn’t get published elsewhere in this word of diminishing demands and cookie-cutter tastes.