So, I keep hearing this noise…

Properly late to the blog today, though my excuse was that I’ve been doing real work. Took me three hours to hammer out just 1500 words, which isn’t bad going when I’m being particularly careful about my words and trying to even more careful about my facts.

I had strange dreams last night. Deep elaborate dreams, in which I was friends with a struggling musician and telling him that the titles of his albums had to be more meta. I kept telling him that he should name his new album “Songs in the Key of Excellence” in order to ensure that the songs were, indeed, excellent. It sounded so good in my sleep. I also helped pen a song about a “lime green lizard”, due to my owning a lime green lizard (in the dream) which I was told to put in a plastic bag so its tail wouldn’t snap off.

No, I have no idea what they were about either. I could probably pay to ask a shrink but I guess the answer would probably be sex. Isn’t that the root of all dreams? Again, no idea.

Not sure why I’m telling you all this. None of that is the reason I sat down to write.

I was having this dream when I suddenly woke up and heard “the noise”.

I’ve been hearing this noise for few days and I can’t fathom what it is. Driving me to distraction. It’s that kind of noise you might imagine exists entirely inside your head. It’s that low and barely perceivable. It’s the sort of noise you only hear in the dead of night when your suddenly aware of the movement of your inner juices. Yet I know it’s real and exists in the real world because I can time it.

It buzzes for exactly five seconds and then there’s a gap of about 30 seconds before it happens again. And it happens all night long. I can’t hear it in the daytime.

I wonder if it’s coming from the neighbours, but I can’t believe somebody would live (and sleep) with such an annoying noise. So, then I wondered if it’s some kind of breathing aid, perhaps for sleep apnoea. That’s purely a guess and I’m only speculating because I have no idea.

Bzzzzzzzz… for five seconds.

30 seconds of silence.

Bzzzzzzzz… for five seconds.

All night long.

Anyway, I’m throwing this to my blog in the hope that somebody might have a clue.

I’ll try to update this blog with something more meaningful once I’ve taken a breather. Started a big cartoon last night. Aim to finish it today. Felt quite good drawing again. If only there was some point to it all… I might stick it here later.

2 thoughts on “So, I keep hearing this noise…”

  1. Sounds like tinnitus. When I get it, it is very high pitched, but apparently it can take the form of buzzing, hissing and humming. Any phantom noise basically. I’ve had it come briefly and then go. If it persists then get telephone appointment with your GP.

    1. Absolutely 100% certain it’s not tinnitus. It’s a mechanical sound, with absolute regularity I can time with a clock. Only hear it in one spot and during certain hours. I’m beginning to suspect it might be a fan that’s rotating all night and causing some kind of rattle.

Leave a Reply


It’s a cool domain name and it was available. Yes, I know. Available. Crazy, isn’t it?


Yes. It also helps that it’s also my favourite satire written by Alexander Pope, one of the most metrically pure English poets who also knew his way around a crude insult or two. If you’ve not read it, you should give it a try.

So this is satire, right?

Can’t deny it. There will be some. But it’s also an experiment in writing and drawing, giving work away for free in order to see how many people are willing to support a writer doing his thing. It’s the weird stuff that I wouldn’t get published elsewhere in this word of diminishing demands and cookie-cutter tastes.