The Twist

Here’s an unexpected twist in the tale.

So, I paid for a private GP consultation which happened this afternoon. I explained the situation, the symptoms, the whole Enchilada (whatever that means). The doctor was totally understanding, thought it was sensible of me to push for the antibiotic since, she said, it’s the standard treatment for sudden onset of confusion/delirium in elderly ladies with no comorbidities. Exactly! As for test results, in the case of the elderly they’re often wrong so a doctor should look at the whole patient, not just one test. Yes! It’s what I’ve been saying for days…

And, she said, she was happy to write us a prescription. I really didn’t expect that but halleluiah. I blub my thanks. I can’t stop crying at the moment. It’s the stress. Can’t describe how bad it’s been. This is a huge weight off my shoulders.

Or so I thought…

I wait a few hours. Not heard anything. My Mum had a great day – minus the church music she claims she can hear – until 3pm when she had a kip and woke up with confusion. Couldn’t find her words. Looked like a migraine but clearly wasn’t. Makes me wonder how many times in the past we’ve attributed this to migraines. Anyway, it soon passed. Compared to where we’ve been it was merely worrying rather than a full blown nightmare.

I decide, then, to ring the private healthcare provider to see where the prescription is up to.

Lady on the switchboard promises to hurry it along. They’ll send it via fax and ring me when it’s done.

20 minutes later.

Phone call. Apparently, our local pharmacy won’t accept a prescription via fax. They wanted the real copy, which would have to be sent via the post. That would take days.

So, I get on the phone to the pharmacy. Explain the situation. They agreed to take it but said they’d pick up the real copy the next day since I said the private company I’d gone through had their office in the centre of town. I blubbed (again) and thanked him. Huge relief.

Contacted the woman with the prescription. Said they’d agreed. I did ask that the prescription was local. No, it’s in Manchester. Great! Would it be a problem (you know the answer by now but let’s pretend you don’t)…

She said she’d call me back when it was done.

20 minutes later the phone goes.

The pharmacy are still refusing. They wanted the healthcare company to send the prescription first class via recorded mail, which (so the argument went) was too expensive. So, she faxed it to Boots instead.

I just rang, it’s coming through now. Going to cost me all of £14. All I now needed to do is work out how to cross town, in the pouring rain, in COVID season…

Big fan of the NHS, here, but when it goes wrong, it goes spectacularly wrong…

4 thoughts on “The Twist”

    1. Doesn’t even begin to describe the past 3 weeks but, yes, hopefully better. My Mum is currently wearing her new glasses and ogling the good looking men in a Hallmark movie. 😉

        1. More normal but weak and very tired, though she’s now on the antibiotics which apparently make you sleepy.

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It’s a cool domain name and it was available. Yes, I know. Available. Crazy, isn’t it?

Really?

Yes. It also helps that it’s also my favourite satire written by Alexander Pope, one of the most metrically pure English poets who also knew his way around a crude insult or two. If you’ve not read it, you should give it a try.

So this is satire, right?

Can’t deny it. There will be some. But it’s also an experiment in writing and drawing, giving work away for free in order to see how many people are willing to support a writer doing his thing. It’s the weird stuff that I wouldn’t get published elsewhere in this word of diminishing demands and cookie-cutter tastes.